Paphos People

ZEN AND THE WISDOM OF LIFE

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

Do not walk beside me either.

Just pretty much leave me the f#ck alone.









2. It's always darkest before dawn.

So if you're going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it.







3 . No one is listening until you fart.





4 . If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a car payment.







5 . Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.







6 . If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.







7 . Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.

Teach him how to fish, he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.







8 . If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it may have been well worth it..







9 . Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.







1 0 . Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.







1 2 . There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.







13 . Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.







14 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.