Paphos People

A lorry driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the M25 and can see that the hold up stretches for miles in front of him. He gets out his flask and is enjoying a cup of coffee and reading his paper when there is a tap on his window. He opens it to find a man standing there and he asks what's going on. "Terrible" says the man, "terrorists have taken over the houses of parliament, all the MPs are locked in, under seige and the terrorists are demanding 100 million ransom, otherwise they are threatening to pour petrol over the lot of them and set it alight"

"Aww, that's dreadful" says the lorry driver "so what are you here for" The man says that a few of the other motorists are trying to raise donations. The lorry driver immediately sticks his hand in his pocket "No problem, I'll contribute - what sort of average are people giving?"
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"Roughly, about a gallon"

Many thanks for posting this yet again.
The old ones are the best.

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John & Kath

No problem at all, I know that small things amuse small minds.

And they don't come much smaller than yours!

No need for that,I applauded you.
Just shows how vindictive you are.

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John & Kath

"No need for that,I applauded you."



Just who do you think you're kidding!But then again, sarcasm is the sincerest form of flattery.

Why don't you stop twisting and post a joke yourself ?
Gary.

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So close yet so far away

I was taught sarcasm was the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.
Not true,I am not witty and according to you have limited inteligence,that is not true either.
You obviously can't take a compliment.
You really are a blinckered pompose ex pat.
Get a life outside an organisation hated by most.

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John & Kath

Says the 2012 Cyprus Twisting Champion.
Lighten up ffs.
This is the jokes section, you spread your doom and gloom elsewhere, give the joke section a rest.
Start criticising Jacs jokes when you crack a better one.
We'll be waiting a bit I bet.

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So close yet so far away

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing the neighborhoods for work.



She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $100?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, on hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "Yeah! you're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes ."

A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money. "You've finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $100 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi."






No virus found in this message.

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John & Kath

Thanks, J & K. That started my week with a smile - just glad I'm not blonde Brunette jokes just aren't the same, are they

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Kay

Those who do not like cats, must have been mice in a previous life.

"I was taught sarcasm was the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.
Not true,I am not witty and according to you have limited inteligence,that is not true either.
You obviously can't take a compliment.
You really are a blinckered pompose ex pat.
Get a life outside an organisation hated by most."


You two are a real piece of work aren't you. No, you're not witty, and yes, you most certainly DO have limited inteligence (sp). I am old enough and more than wise enough to take a compliment when I see one - sadly, I see absolutely no evidence of one here. I am also wise enough and intelligent enough to see through those attempting to portray sarcasm as wit.

I think the words you are actually looking for are blinkered and pompous, although I seriously doubt that you actually know the meaning of either of those two expressions. As I have carefully explained to you both before, I am not actually blinkered - otherwise how on earth would I see you two fools for exactly what you are? As far as pompous goes - give me your definition of that word in relation to what you know precisely about me, the better for me to answer your accusations, if you can.

Finally, perhaps you could clarify for the benefit of all here and the legal profession of course, your further libellous accusation of "an organisation hated by most"

By most what - elephants, alligators, humming birds, neanderthals, pygmies, troglodytes, tornadoes, aphids, butterflies, meteors, aliens, ...............................................................

Certainly not people!!!! Did you conduct any actual research on this, or is it just yet another of your usual libellous and inaccurate assumptions ?? (You may need the dictionary again here)

You two really need to draw your horns in and think a little more before you post. Better still, don't post at all!!!! Your comments are at best basically stupid, at worst libellous. Do you really not understand this term??? Check the dictionary, read my comments about Paphiakos. You may not like them as an organisation, but please, please heed my advice here, that does not in any way give you the right to make so many libellous statements about them! Currently, they are taking no action about such statements - and I leave it to your self-professed 'intelligence' to work out why - but this may change in the near future. Think very carefully on this!!!!!

A joke to lighten the atmosphere -

An American Indian, an Arab and a cowboy were waiting in the airport for a plane to Calgary.They sat around for a while and it tuns out that the Arab is Muslim Fundamentalist. The cowboy tipped his hat back, put his feet on the chair and appeared to sleep. The Arab and the American Indian sat staring into space.

Eventually, the American Indian spoke - "many, many years ago, my people were many, now they are few"

The Arab then said - 'many years ago, MY people were few, and now they are many. Why do you think that is?"
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The cowboy tipped his hat forward, stopped chewing his gum and said "guess that's cause we ain't played cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin"

you just won't give up will you

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John & Kath

"you just won't give up will you"

Not so long as you two keep posting your unsubstantiated and libellous rubbish, no.

Now you are looking very silly,give it up,no one is listening anymore.

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John & Kath

Hark at you.

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So close yet so far away

"Hark at you."

Well said Gary, but I think our posts are lost on these two.

Jacs