Paphos People

CHEAP LABOUR


Geoffrey Palmerston-Hughes was excited the family had been invited away for the weekend to a wedding in Scotland. As he didn’t really know the couple very well, he had volunteered to stay and look after the house. His father’s valet and his mother’s maid had gone with them and the rest of the staff had been given ‘home leave’ for the long weekend that they were away.
He had a long talk with his father before the trip, and they discussed what he would do with the time.
“Well there are lots of jobs that need doing” his father had said “It will do you good to have a bit of responsibility. Make a man of you my boy you are eighteen years old after all. I’ll make out a list of things I think you are capable of. Oh one thing you must promise me not to use any of my cars, you are not old enough to be on the insurance yet.”
“Don’t worry Father, you can trust me”
Sir Randolph Palmerston –Hughes had a wonderful collection of cars, Rolls Royces, Range Rovers, Land Rovers, sports cars, of which he was justly proud. The Rolls Royce was going to Scotland with the family while the servants and all of the luggage were going in the Range Rover.

The day came, the family with the servants left for Scotland and the rest of the staff left for their respective homes.
Geoffrey breathed a sigh of relief. At last responsibility, the house to himself. He looked at the list his father had left for him, Fix the hinges on the shed door, trim the edges of the extensive lawns, clean the pool, paint the porch in the front driveway, etc.etc. He tossed it to one side. Picking up the phone he dialed the first of a long list of numbers.
“Hello Charlie, yes it’s me, OK we’re on - come over, and bring some crumpet with you, yes the more the merrier”
So it went on and soon people began arriving, Unusually for England the weather was scorching hot and soon they were in the pool, sunbathing topless on the lawns (not only the boys) drinking champagne and generally having a great party. They had a whale of a time, as only poor little rich kids can, until after a couple of days one of the more sensible ones raised the question of all the jobs Geoffrey had been assigned.
“Oh don’t worry about them, if we all pitch in together, we’ll have them done in no time” said Geoffrey to a now silent gathering of inept wasters.
“We have to go soon, it’s my grannies birthday party” came one excuse.
“And mine” came the next.
Geoffrey began to panic, his family were due back tomorrow and the place was in a right state almost like a bunch of useless hooligans had been let loose unsupervised for a whole weekend which of course they had.
Then a knight in shining armour came wandering down the drive in the shape of Tommy the odd job man from the village. Not the sharpest tool in the kit but a willing worker if the price was right.
“Tommy my man” shouted Geoffrey “how would you like to earn fifty pounds?”
“Doing what young sir?”
“All the stuff on this list” said Geoffrey thrusting it toward him.
Tommy read it through, easy money for him, a country man by birth always ready to earn a few bob.
“Easy enough sir, when shall I start?”
“Right now, the sooner you finish the sooner you’ll get your money, everything you need is in the shed. Go on then get on with it.”
Geoffrey smiled at his manipulation of the working classes. His father would be proud of him. The party started up again; suddenly Grannies birthday was forgotten and people resumed the celebrations.
Tommy worked steadily through the list, fixing the shed door, trimming the lawns etc etc. finally he came past the drunken Geoffrey carrying a large pot of white paint and a two inch brush.
“How’s it all going Tommy? Just the porch to do now and you’re finished”
Half an hour later and Tommy came back round to the garden with the empty paint pot and brush.
“All done sir, in fact I gave it two coats to make sure. Can I have my money now?”
Geoffrey counted out the five ten pound notes and placed them in Tommy’s hand.
“Now bugger off and don’t tell anybody about this.”
“No sir ‘course not - Oh by the way, that isn’t a Porsche in the driveway it’s a Lamborghini!”