Paphos People

Homework for class 3C September 1967

OCTOBER
Explain why the tenth month is named after the number eight in Latin.

The first calendar was introduced by Romulus the first emperor of the Roman Empire a long time ago several hundred years B.C. how they knew when to start it I don’t know but it must have counted backwards. It had ten months as can be verified by the names of each month. When they realized that by having ten months, the decimal way, did not work with the lunar cycle the Emperor at that time decreed that something had to change. If they didn’t they would celebrate Easter at a different time each year and Christmas would end up in the middle of summer. The population did not have a clue what he was blabbering on about, but did understand that twelve months for the year tied in with the phases of the moon and nearly fitted in with thirty days per month. They added an extra day to some of the months to even or oddly make them balance. Unfortunately they still had a quarter of a day left over each year so some clever bloke said they would have an extra day added on to February every four years. Otherwise the accumulative error would mean that the seasons would move forward by a complete year every one thousand four hundred and sixty years, therefore losing an entire year in the process.
The next decision was what to call the extra months, January and February were named and added on at the beginning of the year, therefore pushing all the other months along two places. That was alright for March, April, May, June, July and August but September the seventh month then became the ninth month, October the tenth, November the eleventh and of course December the twelfth. Confusion took over the people but on the other hand most of them didn’t read or write and the actual date did not have any significance for them. They just knew that at Easter time they ate chocolate eggs and at Christmas time they had turkey and Christmas pudding while sitting by the Yule log blazing away in the fireplace. The Christmas tree sat proudly in the corner of the room, then when Epiphany came round it was hauled up the chimney stack to clean all the soot out of the crevices.
Luckily Jesus came along at just the right time in nought B.C. and set everything right. That first year would have been called After B.C. which is probably what gave rise to our alphabet. Therefore there was a new start, with the years going forward and everything was correct except the monthly names of course. Which is why we are now entering the tenth month of our calendar which is named after the eighth numeral in the Roman system. Q.E.D.
This also explains how the Roman system of decimal numbering in tens, morphed into the Imperial system in twelfths, and why we have twelve inches to the foot, three feet to the yard and one thousand seven hundred and sixty yards to the imperial mile. Money again is simplified with twelve pennies to the shilling, twenty shillings to the pound, and two hundred and forty pennies to the same pound. A simple system that the Romans will never understand - but we do.

John Adams age twelve and a half or twelve point five if you are Roman.