Paphos People

THE NICE VILLAGE

Hampton Magna village was a nice place to live. Most of the residents were ‘Well Off’ retired people, there was a post Office and shop, a pub and people had a very contented lifestyle. Gays were tolerated. Hairdressers Jeremy and Raymonde had a charming cottage with roses around the porch and offered discounts at their Salon in town for village residents both male and female. Mick McCann was a cheeky scouser who knew lots of people, was always looking for a way to make a few bob and could always get things done. The pub landlord kept a good house with good food so everybody was happy.
Then something strange and unsettling started to happen. Every morning at the crack of dawn a hooded figure started to walk around the village and again at nightfall. He had a dog with him a serious and vicious looking dog like Bill Sykes’ Bullseye in the film Oliver.
He moved very stealthily and controlled the dog, which was on a short and incredibly strong leash. Every now and then the dog would stop and sniff or worse drop his load and the figure stood and studied the houses in the Village. When finished, they would move on never clearing up the muck.
Some of the residents tried remonstrating with him but were ignored and intimidated by the snarling and growling. The dog wasn’t friendly either! Nobody knew where he came from as he never spoke to anybody.
Jeremy christened him ‘The Mystery Man’ and had a secret fantasy of being a victim under his power and helpless to resist. Raymonde, Jeremy’s partner, just thought that Jeremy ought to be satisfied with what he had. Raymonde said he was creepy and was concerned about the safety and security of the village.
The Police were called by Hilda who lived in Lilac Cottage but all they said was it was not an offence to walk your dog on a leash. Fouling the pavements had to be proved beyond doubt for a prosecution but if she could get evidence they would try to help Hilda didn’t fancy that.
So a meeting was held and the residents all agreed to get quotes from security companies about tightening up their security. One firm recommended by Mick McCann offered to give substantial discounts if there were multiple orders from the same village. This was accepted by everybody. Burglar alarms, deadlocks on all the doors and windows, security lights and cctv systems were all on offer. The work started almost immediately and everybody felt a lot safer. Smithy the retired gypsy at the end of the village was the only one who didn’t have security installed. He maintained that nobody would dare to break into his place not with his fierce dogs roaming the garden.

The hooded dog walker was observed the following morning and it was noticed that he walked a lot quicker. He was not seen again in the village. Smug residents patted themselves on the back and everybody slept soundly in their fortified homes.

Down at the pub the word spread about the dog walker and a few weeks later other people reported that he had been seen in their village too. Mick handed out business cards for the security company. They won many contracts and were a growing concern in the area.

Then one day a policeman contacted Hilda about her complaint telling her that they had located him and following enquiries it was found that he did not have a dog licence. On enquiring what his name was Hilda was informed that the police could not tell her that under the rights of protection act. But they did say that he was English and owned a security company in the town!