Paphos People

TRAFFIC LIGHT CONTROLLER
The Fire and Rescue service in the United Kingdom is admired the world over and indeed is the basis for Fire Departments in many countries.
Firemen and Firewomen became Fire fighters in line with the sexual discrimination act 1982. They were all dedicated to their profession and personal differences of opinion were forgotten as they worked very efficiently together. Each station was divided into four watches, each with a watch manager and a very competitive attitude to be the best watch in the station.
Blue watch in Cheltenham Fire station had an eclectic mix of personnel and the fire station generally had a great social scene with a lounge bar, full size snooker table, pool table, and dartboard. Not a bad job if you can go into work and play snooker all night! Their wives would sometimes join them and other wives for a good old gossip.
But when the bells went down everything changed, snooker games were abandoned, darts were left stuck in the board and meals were left half eaten, as the crew went down the pole into the garage where the engine was already running and the watch manager was on board with his instruction clipboard. On the journey they all got dressed in the appropriate equipment for whatever situation they were attending. The Watch Manager would fill them in as to what the job was all about, so the men were prepared for action.
Job completed the crew would return to the station and resume the activities as if nothing had happened to interrupt them.
One of the ‘lads’ was a transfer from Newcastle on Tyne, called Geordie, real name Alan, but Geordie worked better. He was always up for a laugh and was usually the instigator of mischief and shenanigans!
Blue watch’s manager was Robert Boulchette, only with Geordies accent it came out as something else! He was a dedicated fire fighter but with ambition! He never missed an opportunity to impress his superiors, and his watch was constantly the top of the figures for efficiency and correctness. His aim was one day to be Station Commander!
One day Geordie came into the station carrying what seemed to be a TV remote control handset and a letter.
“What’s that Geordie?” asked the crew.
“Apparently it’s a new traffic light controller, it’s only got one button and it will turn red traffic lights to green when pressed. They’ve fitted all the lights in the town with receivers which can assess the traffic flow, then if it’s safe it will change the lights to green for us. They want us to trial it for a month and see if it saves enough time to make it worthwhile nationally as if we haven’t got enough to do!”
With that he threw the device on the table.
Robert dived on it eagerly, studying the letter and took it all to his office shutting the door firmly.
The bells went down about an hour later and the crew turned out, a house fire in the north of the town. Robert had the front passenger seat in the engine, with his clipboard on his lap. The window open he leaned out at every set of lights and pressed the button on the device and at the same time starting a stopwatch mounted on the clipboard eagerly noting down the time on a chart.
With the fire dealt with the crew headed back to the station.
“Whats the result then Rob?” asked Geordie.
“Pretty good, I reckon I could build a chart for all four directions from the station. That way we could find the quickest routes to any shout in the town.”
Over the following month Robert made column graphs which showed where the most responsive lights were and subsequently the quickest routes preparing it all for the monthly inspection by the Station Commander.
He arrived and carried out the monthly check on the equipment, and general condition of everything. Once again Blue Watch came out on top. Robert Boulchette stepped forward with his hefty file full of charts and routes.
“I think I have something you might like to see sir” said Robert standing there with his clipboard, stop watch and the remote control unit.
“Absolutely right, thank god you found it, I must have dropped it when I came here last month, well done Robert!”
With that he took the remote control unit and put it in his pocket. “I haven’t been able to open my garage door for the last month unless I get out of the car and do it manually. Not much fun in the rain you know!”
Robert was speechless, he looked at Blue Watch all lined up at attention especially at Geordie whose eyes were looking skyward!